Journal entry, February '07

In my eagerness to walk out in the "responsibility" of my own free will I took command of my own life and choices. Quiet times with You stopped because of the nagging fear of hearing Your quiet voice of correction, gently encouraging me not to settle for that which is not Your highest. Such feelings of deep regret and sadness, but now such expectation of greater things to come. This is one thing that can be said for the slough of despond - after the moment of repentance we turn around and gasp. Instead of looking straight ahead at the things to come we are pleased to have to look up, for things can only get better. There is such a fascinating juxtaposition of grief and ecstasy as we stand in the valley, gazing up to the clouded, towering peaks ahead.