Legacy

I recently was a part of a women’s group that studied Elizabeth George’s “A Woman after God’s Own Heart”. I was asked to share some thoughts on a chapter that focused on being one that leaves a legacy. As I spent time thinking about what a legacy of being a woman after God’s heart looks like I thought of the legacy of Truth that has been imparted to me, and the uphill battle God has of creating a legacy of holiness in my life. Here are a woman’s thoughts to other women ...

TRUTH / REVELATION would be my mom’s life pursuit and greatest passion. God’s truth and the revelation of His character are most important to her; it always has been and always will be. She’s always been a student and a researcher, teaching us with her words and through her lifestyle that truth is to be pursued at all costs. It is deserving of all our time and energies and the value of the wisdom that grows from it has no price. Truth brings light, it brings understanding, it lays an accurate foundation of reality whereupon to build your life and it is a basic attribute of God – God is truth.

But I’ve learned, I think more importantly than the worth of truth itself, that being a faithful steward of truth is an even greater responsibility than simply knowing truth. The one who is entrusted with the treasure of truth is entrusted with so much more than simple knowledge or information.

We are caretakers of the lives around us. “Who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29) No matter who we are or where we live we are a part of a community. Your community may be your neighborhood, your coworkers, your church, your friends or your family and every member is an image-bearer of the holy Creator. Whether we wish to be a member of a community or not our proximity to the lives around us and our intrinsic value before God makes us accountable for how we treat each other.

As the application of truth happens on a daily basis within the context of our communities we quickly see that it’s harder to be a loving, tactful, holder of truth than just one who knows things and dispenses gathered knowledge at will. Truth can be so much more than a simple medium to be used and spent where it is helpful or convenient. It should be invested wisely in your own life first, and in the lives of those around you.

Truth holds much power and it should be handled carefully. It has the power to heal or to hurt. It has the potential to bring freedom or to shame. It can be used to encourage or to demean. So truth must always be handled with ample amounts of grace, mercy, wisdom and discernment. Truth in human hands may seem at times a dangerous thing but only Love has the power to keep Truth in check. Love is Truth’s keeper. Love is what takes simple information and turns it into words of encouragement. Love takes constructive criticism and uses it to empower people to live rightly. Love is the sensitivity to know when not to use knowledge, even when intelligence thinks it should be.

As women, we’re talkers. But God has also gifted us with the precious virtues of grace, mercy, patience, forgiveness, wisdom, empathy and of course, love. Women are like the keepers of the lighthouse … the loving, tender caretakers of truth passing on an incredible legacy, a role no one else can fill quite like us.

A daily quiet time in Scripture and prayer is the only place to gain both the understanding of truth and the character that can be entrusted with it. I am so grateful that both my mom and dad have exemplified for their children the importance of a daily quiet time. It was normal to get up in the morning and see my dad in his big easy chair or at the dining table spending time in the Word before he went out for work. And whenever we would go into my parent’s room to say goodnight, mom was always there in bed with her notebooks and her much-loved Bible that’s falling apart at the seams.

While my mom’s passion for truth has been passed on to me, I’ve learned many things about the pursuit and handling of truth. I’ve learned to be careful and I’ve learned the power of words. I’ve learned that sometimes saying nothing is more powerful than proclaiming truths from God’s Word. I’ve learned that a well placed word is worth much. I’ve learned that God is a rewarder of those who seek Him. My mom quite often didn’t do everything right. She would say things before she realized what they would sound like and I make the same mistake all the time. But I knew the good intentions of her heart were there, that she loved God more than anything else and that she only wanted God’s best for us. She was a faithful steward with what she’d been given and that’s what God is looking for.

Part 2 of Legacy … coming soon

I know winter just got started, what with our overnight single digits and all and our fresh, long-awaited covering of snow, but I can't help looking ahead to spring and the promise of dirt under my fingernails. For anyone who ever does yard work (whether you enjoy it or not) this website is most helpful for figuring out if that scraggly little shrub is a beautiful native plant or an invasive weed.

http://www.extension.umn.edu/gardeninfo/weedid/

if i could recommend just one cd ...

Must read

"Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places: A Conversation in Spiritual Theology" by Eugene Peterson



His conversational style of writing makes for a comfortable and ambling read, but it won't produce a paradigm shift unless you're intentional and attentive. This has already proven to be one of the more formative books I've read yet.

Roomie Duluth Trip, '08

things i’ve learned i don’t like:

sneezing with carrots in my mouth
licking envelopes while eating
death by sudden rice-inhalation

I’ve decided to blog again. I haven’t written since the date stamp on my last post, for which there are a few reasons. I started this blog when I left the Twin Cities to spend a year in Tyler, TX to go through missions training with Youth With A Mission. My intention was to use this as means of conveying news and communicating with family and friends back home. When I returned home I continued writing infrequently and sporadically. But over time I felt that continuing to communicate this way was superfluous, so I quit writing. I also felt that my words were going out into a dark abyss of emptiness, my writing consisting mostly of random drivel and ramblings on.

I’ve never been a regular writer. My journal entries come and go in fits and starts. I internalize most things and frequently frustrate because my writing is so much slower than my thought processes. But a recent conversation with a dear friend who suggested I rethink my posting sabbatical prompted me to do just that. After all, I do write once upon an occasion, and it is in human inclination to want to be heard. But more than simply the desire to be heard but for the hope that these occasional posts will edify have I changed my mind. Therefore I will post.

I don’t promise a very great quantity of content. My goal is to post a handful of times a month as the urge arrests me. I will do my best. Feel free to post comments but be forewarned, a reply is not guaranteed and I most likely won’t comment on your comment. Thank you for reading. I hope you’ll be edified.

Journal entry, February '07

In my eagerness to walk out in the "responsibility" of my own free will I took command of my own life and choices. Quiet times with You stopped because of the nagging fear of hearing Your quiet voice of correction, gently encouraging me not to settle for that which is not Your highest. Such feelings of deep regret and sadness, but now such expectation of greater things to come. This is one thing that can be said for the slough of despond - after the moment of repentance we turn around and gasp. Instead of looking straight ahead at the things to come we are pleased to have to look up, for things can only get better. There is such a fascinating juxtaposition of grief and ecstasy as we stand in the valley, gazing up to the clouded, towering peaks ahead.

succeeding at nothing

People of compromise compel those with whom they associate to aim at nothing in particular, and that is exactly what they achieve. If you aim at nothing that is one thing at which you will be sure to succeed. All it takes is one who is willing to compromise and it lowers the standards of the whole lot.

a new friend

I recently met a new someone and as we got to talking it became apparent that our personalities were very similar. The sadly amusing part of it was that as our conversations progressed, the points on which we most understood each other were the disappointments in our lives, times when things weren’t what they seemed.

Pain is a common denominator, a great equalizer among people. We’ve all experienced it but rarely like to talk about it. The residual feelings of pain resurface often, sometimes monthly, weekly, and even daily. Talking about it means acknowledging its presence, when most of us would prefer to ignore its existence.

But pain will never leave our lives unless we remove the wrappings of self-defense, excuse and denial from around our hearts, exposing the bloody, messy wound that it has become and let God touch it with the searing truth of His love and forgiveness. Until that happens, the acuteness of pain grows into a dull, constant ache, and with its accompanying familiarity a certain kindred friendship is offered. Pain is too often the one constant in our life, the thing that never changes. If that familiar feeling were ever to leave us we fear a gaping hole would remain in its place, risking feelings of emptiness and loneliness more intense than we’ve ever known.

Because we were created as relational beings to live and love like God does, we look for emotional, spiritual and physical connections in any person or thing, whether it is with family or friends, behaviors or habits, no matter our age, circumstance, location or walk of life. As we search for intersecting points of commonality in other people in hopes of guaranteeing a lasting connection some accept our efforts and some refuse our advances. Sadly, one of the few realities that is not partial in its attachments is that haunting feeling of hurt, pain and disappointment. Some days it is the truest friend, seeming to never abandon its host for another, and on other days it is the worst of enemies, its sole purpose to harass me with accusing feelings of condemnation and rejection.

Oft times I let pain court me, since its behavioral patterns have become so consistent and predictable. We’ve memorized our respective roles and I accept our dysfunctional compatibility.

But most days I tire of its companionship and closeness, longing for space to breathe and to hear words of truth and affirmation. I’ve heard Love described as “Choosing the highest good for God, myself and others.” And if this is true, pain’s dark hues do not fit in the painting of my life. They mar and discolor the true picture of who I was created to be. The truth of who I am is not that I was rejected, but that I (not to the exclusion of the rest of the world) was chosen; not that I am unlovable but that I have been loved since my inception; not that I am unlovely but that I am His beauty; not that I am a burden to Him but a delight; not that my presence is a drudge to Him but that He aches for my nearness.

As I learn to choose to listen to Love’s voice, His affirmations and affections become more and more familiar, and pain’s friendship becomes less necessary. I discover that I don’t need its negative voice reminding me of the times I’ve been wronged and how I deserve so much more. Love’s voice reminds me that I have been given much, and those who have wronged me have acted out of their own pain and need for Love. If I choose to re-open my wounded parts and let God heal them with His tender forgiveness and love, pain is rendered powerless in my life. After all, pain owns no real power of its own, only that which I have willfully given it. As I grow more confident in the understanding of my identity in God, that I was loved and chosen before I was even conscious of my existence, the prospect of pain’s abandonment does not fill me with the fear of being alone, since Love has already filled every empty crevice of my soul. And frankly, Love has a better offer. He promises, “I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord.” Love’s way of going about relationships is healthier, sweeter and perfect.

So while I’m happy that I’ve found commonality with others through past painful experiences and have been able to connect on deeper levels with people through that, my hope is that as I continue to meet new someones I can move beyond commiserations over disappointments and delve deeper into the hope and the future that I now own, encouraging others to break their dependent relationship with pain and persevere in their search for healing and true Love.

Dysfunction has an uncanny ability to be a great friend and when it is gone, a gaping hole is left, creating a void in the host's life and leaving a spirit of unrest and complete lack of peace.

prayer

Make me know Your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day. – Psalm 25:4, 5

Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for You. – Psalm 25:21

Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the LORD without wavering. Examine me, O LORD, and try me; test my mind and my heart. For Your lovingkindness is before my eyes, and I have walked in Your truth. – Psalm 26:1-3

Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice, and be gracious to me and answer me. When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You, "Your face, O LORD, I shall seek." Do not hide Your face from me, do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; do not abandon me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation! – Psalm 27:7-9

I sought the LORD, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces will never be ashamed. – Psalm 34:4, 5

“For the Church has no beauty but what the Bride-groom gives her; He does not find, but makes, her lovely.” – C.S. Lewis (Eph. 5:22)


Journal Entry - 12.2.05 - rough draft revisited
It seems to me that it gets harder to pray, the longer I go on. Not that I don’t desire to pray, but words have become hard to find. As I have been reading some of the prayers and cries of David and the promises of God in Hosea, it’s become difficult and feels obtrusive for me to break into the silence with halting prayers of my own. I think I’m just beginning to understand what Henri Nowen writes of regarding the silent prayers of the heart (“pray at all times in the Spirit” … Eph. 6:18), unceasing in nature. As the attitude of the heart is and the filled life of the Holy Spirit may be, so our prayers are continually lifted up to God, though the mind may not be conscious of it. When our spirits are in constant communion with God, our lives are a continual and living prayer to Him.

As the last two weeks have been a constant reminder to bring myself and my concerns, my will, my future, my heart and my mind before Him in surrender, offering these things up to Him consciously, the more it seems I feel them being lifted again and again without conscious recollection. Such a mystery, this attitude of the heart.

And as my shallow understanding deepens of His greatness and His love for me, I realize how unimportant words have become. He doesn’t need them quite as much as I think He does. Of course, He loves our simple conversations, the ones when I thank Him for warm cherry pie, for getting off work early, for a car that runs; when I ask Him to help me choose the right words in an uncomfortable situation; when I can laugh with Him over human blunders; when I can cry to Him because it hurts so much; when His love is so real …

He loves to hear me come to Him in prayer when I just want to chat, like old friends. But then … there are some days when all I can do is sit and be; when it’s simply enough to lift my throbbing heart, pulsing with raw emotion and feeling, on my hands for Him to see and understand. And we sit there together in silence, me feeling and Him understanding. And after a while, I know that He’s heard everything I’ve never said and He feels what I haven’t been able to express. He’s absorbed my silent cries and He caresses my now still heart. I look up at Him and smile. And He nods as I put my heart back into the shell called me. My heart beats steadily again, bringing back to life something once broken. All of this, the daily miracle of unspoken prayer. An attitude of the heart. As my Creator, He knows it all. And silent surrender is simply enough.

This is the miracle of a human being loved and cared for by God, our own love being deepened and radiating joy, His grace imparted daily and our faith strengthened for His glory. This is the incredible story of our redemption and what angels long to look in to …

Where pride thrives growth is impossible. It stifles a teachable spirit and with the absence of humility is found an inability to learn and grow. Pride wreaks all sorts of havoc. There can be received no help, kind-hearted aid or correction of any kind. Pride stunts any possibility of growth, for the one who suffers from it bears no hope of ever becoming something other than what he already is. He will always remain the creature he is, unable to become something else, for that something else requires growth. And growth is more than change, for change by itself, is simply change. But change, under the watchful eye of character’s continuity, produces growth. As C.S. Lewis wrote in They Asked For a Paper, “Mere change is not growth. Growth is the synthesis of change and continuity, and where there is no continuity there is no growth.” Growth requires patience, perseverance and discipline. Pride finds no need for any of these friends and chooses instead to be content in what has always been.

Leo Tolstoy

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."

"Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them."

my heart's aim is to know the way God's heart aches. the throbbing of His soul is the heartbeat of my existence.


sometimes worship is us offering God a neatly wrapped gift, saying, "this is what i've decided to give you, nothing more, nothing less, dressed up in ceremony and ritual, offering you what i'm willing to afford." though God graciously accepts what we offer, He always extends the invitation to us to stay awhile, to enjoy the gift with Him. will we enter the throne room of God with our gift of worship and stay awhile, waiting on God, sticking around to see if there might be something else He'd like to do with us, something more, something different? He's hoping to share His heart with us if we might stay while and listen, but so often we drop the gift at His feet and run, preoccupied with our to-do lists and sunday brunch plans. can we forgo our schedules and time constraints to offer God more than our specifically prepared offering of worship ... our life? will we wait awhile with Him?

If you have only come the length of asking God for things, you have never come to the first strand of abandonment, you have become a Christian from a standpoint of your own. "I did ask God for the Holy Spirit, but He did not give me the rest and the peace I expected." Instantly God puts His finger on the reason - you are not seeking the Lord at all, you are seeking something for yourself. Jesus says - "Ask, and it shall be given you." Ask God for what you want, and you cannot ask if you are not asking for a right thing. When you draw near to God, you cease from asking for things. "Your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him." Then why ask? That you may get to know Him. - O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

pop or soda?

finally, after years of being ridiculed for saying "pop" by everyone not from my native midwest, i am justified. its good to know that it hasn't just been me all along, but approximately everyone from 40°N and beyond.

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-out-of-a-Car-Gracefully-Without-
Showing-Your-Underwear

america has lost her modesty, and with it, her brains. we need how-to's for exiting a vehicle safely without giving great revelation to innocent bystanders.

parents have vacated their posts and the world is shocked at our displays of ignorance and obliviousness, as daycares and schools have ceased teaching morality. who will teach responsibility if parents refuse and teachers are not allowed?

the concept of modesty vanishes and after we've boiled morality off, we're left with some crystallized semblance of behaviour management and techniques for avoided embarrassing situations.

perhaps God knew all along that if we'd only follow His advice, we'd never need to surf the internet, scanning how-to websites to problem-solve awkward situations ...

The Church of England recently shocked observers by telling doctors' ethical advisors that some sick babies should be allowed to die. The bishop of Southwark, the Right Reverend Dr. Tom Butler, said that the economic cost of long-term health care and education must be considered and that there may be circumstances in which it is morally acceptable to perform a "possibly lethal act". Dr. Butler has submitted a paper to the Nuffield Council on Bioethics, a think tank that advises on moral dilemmas created by scientific advances. The council will publish guidelines on how to deal with very premature and very sick babies. The bishop's rationale for his position included this statement: "For a Christian, death is not the end, and is not to be avoided at all costs." In response, the evangelical wing of the Church of England gave a warning that this view is a slippery slope toward euthanasia, and the Roman Catholic church issued a statement defending the right to life.
(The Church Around the World / Feb. 2007)